So I admittedly have two audiences, one favoring social media – and one who feels more comfortable with less frequent postings simply hitting their inbox via my blog. So tweeties, some of this for you might be a little repetitive, but hang in with me.

Recently, thanks to the lovely Jade Thunderstorm, I’ve gotten hooked on this adorable guru of minimalist organization – Marie Kondo (above).

She’s taken on the monumental task of convincing people that too much stuff can be stressful and that by parting with excess items that don’t ‘spark joy’ you’ll be a happier, more organized version of yourself. Simple, perhaps overly so, but I’ve got to tell you after holding my 20th pair of black pants from my wardrobe and thinning the heard to just the essentials that I love, I’ve never felt better. 25 pairs of skin tight yoga pants didn’t spark joy….but 20 still did. Marie, you’re on to something Marie.

Sure, that takes care of my vanilla domestics in one neat little KondoMari size fold, but my dungeon – that’s always been a different beast. I’ve teetered between knowing I’m a super organized hoarder and justifying every purchase from the smallest to most extravagant, it’s a ‘work necessity’. Creativity makes up 50% of what I bring to a scene, but with over a decade worth of regulars, new toys and having everything they may see online and want to try is simply a “must” for my dungeon. All of that I can still say and stand behind with a straight face. Until of course, I realize I have duplicates – sometimes triplicates – of almost everything.

3 days ago I had a personal slave choose a random smattering of 14 impact items, I did the same. Instantly I noticed in the mix I was holding the same exact lexan cane 3 times over. So here we are, I’m going to go through my studio to purge things I don’t need….with the fully admitted purpose of making room for new, exciting and more diverse implements and furniture.

My hope, with larger items like this cross above (that I have two of) is to sell at a steal of a price, but other items: impact, restraint, hoods etc…I’ll be giving away. Since I don’t want to be the ultra creepy person trying to sneak perverted items into goodwill under the radar, I’ll be offering them up to visitors with booked appointments or duo partners who want to snag something – if it catches their eye. Now at first, I only have one box I’m willing to part with, but I expect this to be ongoing. New furniture is en route and I have a giant cart of toys pending from Mr S Leather, so whether or not I like it, I’ve got to make room and part with multiples.

So, if you’re in my studio and want to take something home, ask to see my ‘didn’t spank joy’ box.

You’ll be doing me a huge favor!

Restrained on the table, the muffled crinkling of his restraints were the only sound to be heard in the dungeon. A familiar, but untiring melody of unrelenting bondage against a writhing, desperate slave. Soft and supple, barely inches moved despite his effort, but the implications were echoing.
Layers and layers of thick rubber encased him, tight leather straps held him down, face hugging neoprene blocking him in – all wrapped securely in a tight stabilizer, shrouded with noise canceling headphones; my pet could only move his fingers…but just barely, and by design. I loved the unconscious feel of his fingertips as he’d achingly reach out to touch my dress or my legs within his confinement. Until I fed his senses a taste of something, those grasps of my silky skin was the only thing that existed to him.
His enslavement today was otherworldly; a need was to be met, deep and psychological, transporting his mind outside my dungeon, to a world of my making, while his body remained present and exposed to my lustful appetites and expert ministrations.
Made with precision, I crafted a soundtrack of sorts; erotic sounds, filthy talk, binaural beats entwined in a way that played as a seamless, entrancing siren song to him through his headphones. The world outside had disappeared into inky blackness leaving perception and reality something I entirely directed; the feeling of such control was absolutely extraordinary.
Outside, his naked body unprotected under layers and trappings, chained tight but spread open, every inch I cared to touch laid bare before me. Each graze of my hand corresponded to particular parts of the audio, in perfect sync stroking him relentlessly and mercilessly, scratching, teasing, violating, shocking, tugging, touching and spanking him. He was lost in this world.
For a while I’ve been at the hypnosis game, creating several different otherworldly scenes to carrying willing suitors to realms far beyond their imagination: from a bordello of sensual succubi who want to drain you, a coven of wicked witches who kidnap you for an erotic ritual, entrancing suggestive tones to unlock your deepest hidden cravings; and quite a few others, in his constraints these scenarios are as real as can be and far reaching. My boy knew it all to well, once I hit play – there was no escaping my chosen destination.
If you’ve been a kink enthusiast and want to experience something to take you deeper, this is a must try activity. Push the bounds of body and mind to new erotic, uncontrolled and unrestrained heights as I walk you down one of these winding paths, either by request or surprise.
I promise, you won’t be the same after….
As much as I’d love to try to explain more about this to tempt you, the power of these playbacks is the absolute unknown. You will rarely see imagines I post of this type of scene, nor will you ever read a review about it. Perhaps, one of my best kept secrets kept from those aside from the willing. Do you dare hand me the keys to the reality you inhabit?
Consider it the ultimate submission.
Just last month I had the enormous pleasure of welcoming a fellow rubber lover for what he deemed a ‘latex vacation’.
Having followed my online presence for so long, he decided he deserved a little personal reprieve, and for him, it meant a totally committed stint of 2 days surrounding his favorite fetish: glimmering and glorious latex. He packed his bags, boarded a plane and made it happen despite all the demanding odds waiting for him back home.
He works hard, he’s a dedicated family man, career focused and total giver of a human. Someone, who I get the sense, people rely on – often. He’s a rock…but under that well crafted exterior of a dependable gentleman, lies a living breathing creature of lust, want and need. A creature who had been left starving in the face of the needs of others.
Most figures who have a lot on their plate will begin slowly compartmentalizing their personal desired and impulses. Perhaps out of habit to accommodate others, or maybe simply not wanting to bring those secret needs out to display to those who count on us; he had gone MONTHS without diving into his secret, sexy deviation. Personally, that’s a fate I can’t even imagine, but nevertheless – this was his reality.
How easily we get wrapped up in schedules, becoming slaves not to a Mistress, but to alarm clocks, deadlines and self imposed to do lists that rule over every waking moment. I don’t know about you – but I’ve never wanted to live that way. Workaholic by nature, I had to be exceedingly careful in what I chose to do with my life, I had to pick a passion that fed me in equal measure that it took from me because like most of you, I live my life at 110%. But not everyone can be so fortunate.
Those of you who struggle to find even a free hour during the day you enjoy unhindered, that you take strictly for yourself, are left with the most impossible task of all: making time.
When and why did you stop putting your needs first? Or even second?
When did you decide your hourly agenda dictated everything? When personal luxuries weren’t important?
When did you stop making time to enjoy your life?
Consider this blog a call for a return to sanity – to you time. As I sit on my couch, exploring my own version of that, I’m scrolling through my emails and texts, littered with inquiries and hopeful comments from suitors who anxiously ‘can’t wait to meet’ or ‘can’t wait to connect again’, once the opportunity presents itself. Unsurprisingly, many of these whispered optimisms go back months or even repeat themselves through a year – I’m still in their thoughts as the calendar pages begin to turn. It’s a sad prospect…to be so entrapped in responsibility that you allow your creative and sexual self to suffer.
So my darlings, I challenge you – if you’ve been tapping the digital shoulder of your fave SW more often then you attempt to connect, reevaluate your priorities! Put your foot down and stop the wheel that keeps you ever busy and indulge yourself: just do it. Make one moment for yourself before the end of the year. One moment in 64 long days.
Don’t just envy what others have done, definitely don’t read though blogs or gloss through the twitter scrolls of your craved paramour with lust and want never to be engaged. Act on it – take your own personal ‘rubber vacation’ or whatever that looks like for you.
Frankly, you deserve it.
Ah, my lovelies, this post is MUCH needed in the current climate, wouldn’t you say?
With many new people coming to the hobby and SW world, we see the topic of references coming up more and more.
Those new to it are often left completely lost as to what one is and how it works, while others who have been long reluctant hold outs refusing to go through screening may now find themselves left in the cold without a providers ‘vouch’. Frankly put, it’s becoming a necessary step….but never fear, I’m here to here to demystify just about everything regarding this beautiful system to make it easier for you to enjoy the world of erotic activity!
First, some definitions…
Reference: A reputable provider of any branch that has seen you before and would vouch for your good behavior.
Screening: The process of vetting you go through to gaining your first booking, or to verifying your positive social status.
Verified: The positive outcome of screening.
SWer: Sex worker
Review/ed: A public review of a SWer used to establish credibility. These are posted on ‘review boards’ by clients who have seen them.
Now for the nitty gritty!
So why screen?
You’ve heard the joke about always bringing a friend along if you meet up with someone to buy something off eBay. Well, this is an amped up version of that. Due to the discretion involved, you’re a stranger from the internet – we need to know above all, that you aren’t going to harm, assault, rob or rape us. We don’t need to know anything truly personal like where you went to high school, names of your family members or anything like that; just that YOU have a clean web presence and can be trusted alone with us. It’s a vulnerable and intimate space, above all we value our safety. Makes sense if you think about it.
I really don’t want to be ‘screened’, how do I know the information I provide will stay safe?
The most common reason people don’t want to be screened is that they are uncomfortable with the process, I get it believe me. They think linking their actual real self to screening is going to somehow come back to bite them. It’s healthy to fear for your privacy, but this step is all about safety, we aren’t trying to play detective to get to know you, just to make sure you aren’t Ted Bundy.
Reputable SWers are discreet, basically we’re like a vault when it comes to keeping things under wraps. Usually staying up on the latest tech, the smartest ways to go about this and even using code for certain activities – we’re masters of privacy, our careers depend on it.  Just think, most of us have close friends and immediate family who don’t know we do this for a living or a hobby – and if we’re capable of keeping that underground; the private info of a single potential client is very easy to keep under wraps.
So long as you don’t give a provider your home address, chose reputable ladies who have been reviewed and maintain a solid web presence and reputation, you’ll be fine. No provider would risk her entire career just to ‘out’ you.
Starting out, establishing your first references: How do providers screen?
Well at first, there’s a variety of methods. Usually a SWer will want to verify you are who you say you are – so a professional reference (your name and job) will suffice, LikedIn profile or maybe even a social media profile. Not everyone requires this but your first establishment of references may feel a little more exposing then it will in the future. Expect this, it’s normal. Tens of thousands of other clients have gone through the process – you are not being singled out. After you score your first booking, future providers will likely just ask who can vouch for you, you’ll offer the name of the last provider(s) you saw and it’ll be over in a flash!
What we say to each other:
Don’t worry, the intel providers exchange is pretty low key. We aren’t trying to load up each others inbox here and we don’t want to talk shop or gossip, this is just the essentials – we both have other things to do! It’s a professional courtesy to offer a reference, not an opportunity to shoot the breeze.
My responses personally go something like “Oh yeah, I saw Jim. He was a nice guy, I’d welcome him back”. That’s it. Jim is either golden or he’s not.
If there was something a provider really needs to know, I may elaborate more, but these are only extreme situations. “Oh yeah, I saw Jim. His appointment itself was fine but he tried very hard to stay over time, I couldn’t politely conclude the date until we were 20 mins over and he didn’t adjust his donation accordingly. Heads up”
We aren’t here to nitpick Jim, I’m glad he had such a good time he didn’t want to leave but this may effect how the next provider schedules their date and how much padding she might leave at the end.
We’re only passing the most relevant details to another provider so she can be aware of how to preemptively handle situations. 
What if I don’t pass screening:
Brace yourself because it may happen a time or two. It’s not just YOU, it happens to nearly everyone. Sometimes it can be for reasons as intangible as a gut feeling. A provider may decline someone for any reason and it’s not personal. You might share the name of an ex, you may just be someone she thinks she knows from her personal life or she might just not feel you’re going to click.  If you start the screening process and don’t hear back – it’s acceptable to follow up once. If you still don’t get a reply, move on. Don’t take it personally, don’t antagonize.
Why wouldn’t she just tell me I didn’t pass screening instead of making me wait?
The honest answer to this is two fold:
  1. Because MOST people don’t take that well. Rejection is poorly handled for the most part – I’m sure you’ve seen it especially on twitter or various apps; women will post photos of exchanges they’ve had in chat with someone where a polite ‘no thanks’ was met by a flurry of verbal sewage. We don’t want to open the door to arguments, attempts to change our minds, harassment, verbal assault or threats. We aren’t betting that’s how you are going to respond to a polite decline, but historically, I’d say 90% of the time; that’s what happens.
  1. We don’t want to jeopardize the other provider you may have used as a vouch. If she wouldn’t welcome you back for her own reasons; she isn’t the one standing between you and the second provider, she may be a factor in that decision but ultimately it was her ‘fault’. Also, they very well might have said you’d be an absolute gem and for other reasons we decided to pass. We don’t want to invite backlash for her either so we may simply stop responding. It’s not personal.
Okay with so much discretion, how will someone remember me to serve as my reference?
This is up to the memory of the provider. Usually, if you’re someone we’ve seen once, we’ll remember you for a few weeks or months. If you’re more regular – that sticks.
Many clients use fake names and the majority of our clients tend to fall into very similar groups, saying you are Jim, 5ft 11in 190lbs, brown hair isn’t going to help, if you get my drift. It’s low lighting, there’s a lot going on and we are not studying and judging your body for details so very basic stats aren’t registering with us.
I suggest you do or say something memorable! One client literally did a 5 second jig at my door before he said goodbye. This was 12 years ago and I still remember him. Another knelt down and recited part of my favorite Poe story. Sing her the line of a song, bring her an obscure gift, use the name of something standout-ish like ‘sonic the hedgehog’. This is all vital. We don’t keep written records so if you want that reference to stick – make SURE you politely stand out.
How long is a reference good for?
So, you bit the bullet, saw someone and now have a reference handy. Maybe 6 months down the line you want to try someone else – is that past reference still good? Will they still be willing to vouch for me this many months later?
All providers have a different tolerance for this, often dictated in their website but usually it’s about 6 months to a year depending on our memory. It’s polite to establish and use new references too so if you’re on your 3rd, 4th or 5th provider, you may only want to offer the names of the last 2 SWers you saw so as not to continue burdening provider #1 if you haven’t been back to visit her.
Side note: If you keep using provider #1 for  months or years after she’s already vouched for you to many others – honestly that’s a bit discourteous. It’s a lot of emails for her and may come off after a while as suspicious that you aren’t using your new references. 
Did you not have good dates with the other providers? 
Am I the only one who will vouch for you after a visit? 
were you not pulling though on those appointments? 
I have definitely found myself in that spot before; replying to a reference request where I had to say, “Yeah, I saw Jim a year ago and all was well, but since then I’ve vouched to Christina, Jenna, Lisa and Cameron. If he hasn’t listed them as contacts, that’s a red flag to me.’ I will also personally rescreen Jim to make sure his behavior hasn’t changed before I welcome him back.
Last but not least, a providers vouch can carry you far, treat that like gold! 
If you get to visit someone because you were ‘cleared’ by a provider, make sure you uphold the positive comments she used to assist you. She went out of her way to assure someone else you were polite, safe, reliable and courteous.
If you stand them up, short notice cancel or misbehave in a big way, you better believe provider #2 will be reaching back out to provider #1 to let her know. I’ve even recently had that happen on 2 occasions where a client has short notice canceled on another lady after I gave him a thumbs up without working out an amicable resolution – and while she said she didn’t blame me, she explained the spot that client had put her in. Sure, it wasn’t my fault, but I felt awful! All providers do when they hear negative feedback after giving you a good reference. Don’t do that to us.
Okay, so what if I have to cancel for a legitimate reason and don’t want to lose my references?
This depends on a few things. Make sure the provider you have to cancel on doesn’t have a cancellation policy. If she does, abide by it and all is well. If she doesn’t – don’t think she’s isn’t inconvenienced. Offer to reschedule if you can, perhaps with a deposit to establish trust. If not, offer a sincere apology and move on.
We get that things happen, we are all human; this just happens to be an occupation that demands a lot of time, effort and energy before we are able to receive our tribute. When something falls through – we often are out a lot of time spent and worse; have often turned down other potential visitors holding your spot. Try to be as reliable as you can. Don’t book if you aren’t 100% in that moment you can make it, it’s rude to hold a spot while waiting to make sure your schedule allowed for it and if you have to cancel, accept whatever policy the provider has to handle it.
If you aren’t willing to take those steps – you aren’t ready to see a provider.
I know I threw a lot of information at you, but this is the sort of industry that doesn’t exactly have an official rules. So much of this is a mystery left to be figured out as you go, unless you stumble across little guides like this here and there. If you have accidentally committed a misstep in the past, rest assured that most providers don’t exactly hold grudges. We all understand there’s a learning curve, so do your best, give “great client” and enjoy the hobby.
No Jim’s were harmed in the making of this post
Good evening darling pervs!!
As I’m sure you may have noticed from the recent string of photos and videos on my Twitter profile, the monster machine that is the Combination Dungeon from Fetters has finally arrived in my studio!
I’ve been nothing but a flurry of latex clad excitement and renewed creativity as I put this beast together and finally began breaking it in with one of my favorite playmates! Summer always takes a toll on me but this has been my absolute salvation!
It occurred to me, even though I was the one that scouted this out, picked each option and put it together; I was still amazed to learn all the various functions and options for how this delicious stack of metal might be used. So really, my poor audience has been left with only a half hearted impression – and that simply will not do!
How on earth can I expect my doomed darlings to fantasize about your various predicaments if you don’t even know what’s available?
So, today’s post to simply going to break down exactly what the fuss is all about!
For clarity, here’s the official photo from the Fetters website, sometimes staged shots are the best option…


But here it is in my space…


Stretching Rack (arms, legs, delicate bits)

The common theme in almost every visitors fantasy is a craving for inescapable bondage. The exposure that comes along with not being able to shift your limbs even one optimistic inch is pivotal to any really successful feeling of capture. Now, beyond merely tightly tied ropes or well placed cuffs, I can pull you tight, arms high above head, truly leaving you vulnerable to my every wicked wish.

Leather Belting System

10 thick, fully adjustable, body compressing leather belts straddle the entire length of this table for either minimal or maximum multifaceted bondage. Leather lovers rejoice, I can thoroughly secure you in your material of obsession; pressing you down, holding you tight, teasing your skin and muscles as you fruitlessly fight for leverage. Despite the paralyzing restriction, this is comfortable enough for even the longest extended or overnight scenes.


Whipping Bench

I once had a kneeling bench, now a relic from my first dungeon’s incarnation, that was the bane of many suitors. This whipping bench does not rely on kneeling, but rather standing or dangling over the severe arched, but well padded curve, eliminating tension for those who’s bodies didn’t quite fit the rigid confines of the previous ‘one size fits all’ device that used to grace my space.

This can be used with the belt system and stretching rack for a very deep feeling of being left and held helplessly in a punishment pose for as long as I deem necessary.

Overhead Racks

Ever wishing that I had several additional hands in the dungeon to help complete a feeling of sensory overload, I’ve turned to extras like this for those moments of ‘more’. Perfect for predicaments like tightly tied balls strung high above or nipples held firm by clamps and secured to these posts; you’ll be at a loss to move, flinch or even breathe deeply without adding to your torment.

Gyno Stirrups

If we’ve met, you know I’m invasive. It’s just my thing. I need to make someone feel spread open, exposed and watched. Just having someone bound with their legs propped up implies I could penetrate you anytime, for any reason – a powerful feeling especially if you’re blindfolded.
Then there’s the practical application: with all the rigid restriction above, to be left spread eagle like this and used…. words simply fail to describe the immense feeling of being displayed.


CBT table

This was quite a shock when it arrived, but this gorgeous table has a hole, perfectly sized to fit your family jewels as you lie face down. The implications are pretty staggering but all I envision is some unique forced bi predicaments (the hole hangs just above the cage) and various, cruel cock and ball tortures.

Puppy cage (see above)

I suppose no dungeon is complete without a cage or two and this has grown on me tremendously.
I’ve used it several times now to isolate a prisoner, leave him safe and sound while I go about my day – rewarding him with certain deviant treats fed through the hole above. Or more cruelly – as the bottom is metal – to electrify with my violet wand, sending tingles or shocks through the entire cage; a sublime addition to my interrogation scenarios.
So there you have it! I know my videos and tweets have been a total tease only showing small snippets of the possibilities but now you have your all access view to everything available.
Now, just let me know when curiosities and desire gets the best of you?
It’s beautiful isn’t it?
I don’t know how long exactly I’ve been waiting, 3 months? 6 months? Time passes agonizingly slow when something this perfect is on your horizon; but every day, I’d imagine where in line this gorgeous piece was in the factory order.
Sitting at 9ft by 5ft, this rubbery monster takes up nearly half the floor space in the main room of my dungeon and is the crowning glory to my otherwise spectacular collection of latex bondage items. I have every bag, sack, rubber jacket imaginable – all the hoods, gags and restraints one could hope for, but a proper vac bed: that has evaded my collection for too long!
I’m officially making this available to my heavy rubber lovers (by specific request of course), from here on out!

A couple of notes should be mentioned at this point; some more obvious than others, BUT I’m never one to shy away from being thorough, now am I?
If you have a latex allergy, this is not available to you. 
I know, it’s heartbreaking, but it’s for your own safety.
Self tests with a rubber glove are advised, but may not be conclusive.
If you’ve ever had an allergic reaction to rubber, I cannot offer you full body covering latex play, even if it is your kink. Allergic reactions can range from mild rashes to full on anaphylactic shock.
If you have severe latex allergy my entire dungeon is unsafe for you. 
(i.e. you are triggered by breathing near rubber)
Please read up on latex allergy and exposure to be made aware of the rare but potential risks.
Requests for the vac bed must be made in advance. 
It takes 90 minutes to assemble and polish and about 60-90 minutes to clean and dry afterwards. I won’t be able to have this just lying around ready to go due to it’s size and it’s not feasible to ‘quickly’ put together if you decide close to your booking that you’d like to explore it. No less than 24 hours notice is required, though ideally, you’ll let me know when booking.
This will absolutely fall under the heavy rubber tribute of 300/hr for play with a minimum of 2 hours without exception. 
This is to account for the expense of the item, normal wear and tear, and the additional time need to prepare and clean up.
You break it, you buy it!
I’m making it clear up front, that any misuse of this item that causes it to tear or rip, will require your full immediate reimbursement.
Money for patch jobs will not be accepted – I expect my gear to remain in the exact same quality and condition as before we begun, sans normal wear and tear.
All items in my dungeon are kept to an immaculate ‘like new’ standard without exception. Damage almost always occurs when someone tries something I tell them not to, attempts to ‘escape’ or stretch to ‘test’ the restriction of the rubber – or when someone just flails around like a child.
Don’t be that client…. let’s have a sexy rubber time 😉
I had a small twitter tirade yesterday… you may have noticed.
A topic came up, one that I’d usually brush off, but struck a huge nerve with me.  I can’t let it go. I want to, I’m trying to, but no… not today.
I absolutely hate seeing dissension in the SW world; especially with the ever pervading us .vs them mentality with general society at large. We fight against misconception, stereotype and in these days, we fight just to survive. Fighting each other, especially without *good* cause, is honestly, petty at best. Who really has the time or emotional energy for school yard negativity anyway?
A tweet was released by a Dominatrix, someone I don’t know and frankly I don’t know how I came to see her post. I’m not trying to make an expample of her directly but we’ve all seen comments like this so I’ll share her words to offer context.
She says…
“I have a question…. what is it with Mistresses stroking slave cock in preview videos or dungeon scenes? I get you want to sell clips, but if you keep that up slaves will EXPECT such behavior from their Mistresses and that would be disgusting. YOU are better than a hand job!”
Maybe it was the last sentence. You are better than a hand job. Or maybe worse, it’s that she’s blaming porn stars for the potential ‘expectations’ of a client. Who knows….
To blame one person, for the not-even-yet-happened expectations of another, and to do so with such venom, I can’t wrap my head around.
It also frustrates me to no end when any one person feels like they are able to speak to what should or shouldn’t be allowed in someone else’s content or session… or that certain actions are disgusting just because YOU don’t offer them.
There isn’t one correct vision of BDSM and I don’t think a single Top in her right mind would appreciate someone else laying out what is permissible across the board.
Maybe when we all once had to rely on single line print ads that gave us zero opportunity to expand, that would create a larger need for a general concenses. I remember those days and I could kinda see that, but with modern ad platforms and websites – we can be as diverse as we want to, having plenty of opportunity to clarify our offerings and boundaries with as many words as we’d like.
I mean we all have different rules and interests anyway, largely based around what turns us on, what we specialize in and what falls within our comfort zone. If one Domina is a little more rigid than another – that’s 100% fine! You will attract the kind of clients who appreciate that dynamic as long as you communicate that! That’s why we advertise; so we can be clear. So we can lay the path of what a client CAN assume in a session with us. Its a system that seems to work quite nicely all around.
Our visitors are smart, accomplished and very self aware – they aren’t the clueless animals you’re painting them to be who see something and naturally assume it will happen universally with every Dominatrix. I’ve absolutely never had someone come in and press me for an act they saw in porn. You know why? They read my ads, my website and then I screen to create a linear agreement, something I would be doing anyway to ensure compatibility – not just to make sure they know I’m not a porn star (cough).
Now, if I were to really get down to speculation, I know some people with more strict boundaries aren’t taking issue with the misconception of client expectation – but that perhaps the fluctuating boundaries of others don’t line up in what they’re comfortable in offering. If one Mistress gives “more”, perhaps that will threaten the other Dommes business if she’s more reserved.
Let’s not pretend that the view of BDSM is being tainted by someone receiving erotic enjoyment. And let’s not pretend this is a prudish act completely removed of all sexuality. There will be some who crave the more rigid, hands off style Dominatrix and others who want more….but to say they will EXPECT a universal flexible boundary across the board…? Ludicrous. To imagine they might do something to press you, put you in danger or perhaps make a move on you: that’s another topic entirely and you definitely can’t blame porn for it.
If you see posts like his, Dear Readers, just know that it does NOT reflect the general viewpoint of ALL Mistresses. We definitely don’t ALL look down on intimate contact, we don’t see it as an incorrect interpretation of BDSM and definitely don’t believe you’re unable to differentiate between fantasies you see online and the realty you’d experience in the flesh.
In closing, and here’s my most underlined point of them all: don’t let someone shame your sexuality.
No matter what side you fall to, no matter what you’re into. If someone is saying the word ‘disgusting’ as this Domme chose to, in relation to an action – realize this says more about them than you.
Bdsm is about freedom from shame… embrace that and sharply and unreservedly discard anyone who dares to tell you to feel otherwise.
This morning I woke up with a smile…
A reminder on my phone is set to notify me of any and all important upcoming dates and with so many treacherous and attractive deviants on my agenda – I had barely noticed we are nearly ready to pounce into Summer!
For me, that means one special thing in particular – it’s officially just over a month *33 days*, until my birthday!
I signify that countdown every year for one reason in particular; it’s a warning.
As someone who often does exactly as I please on a daily basis, I take deep pride in doing so with absolutely no hesitation or restraint in the weeks leading up to my special day. I’m not much of a ‘birthday person’ per se, but I’ll take any excuse to push the envelope, let my hair down and sink my teeth and claws a little further into you….
With that thought lingering, it’s fairly obvious that gift I’d like most is your presence in my dungeon!  Whether I’ve just seen you last week or haven’t had your helpless, naked form in my studio for 6 months; my greatest pleasures in life are always going to involve rope, leather and soundproof walls. I am a tireless pervert so your physical submission (and endurance) is what will make my heart race the most.
While June’s availability seems to evaporate with each update, remaining possibilities can be found here: and July is still wide open and ready for the taking!
Now as some of you, very sadly, just can’t exactly submit in the flesh, but still wish to offer celebration and adoration, I do have some wish lists floating around! Though please believe me – no gifts or recognition of any sort is necessary! This post is strictly for those who *enjoy* going a bit out of their way to serve their Domina.
My favorite stores happen to be….
Though before I forget, it’s worth saying that while material objects are lovely, I also have a huge heart for animal welfare.  Donations to the ASPA or  The Animal Hope & Wellness Foundation (my favorite!) are *massively* appreciated! Or better still, adopt a local shelter cat or dog in my honor – and let me give it a properly wicked and adorable name.
Last but not least, I’ve got BIG changes coming to the dungeon, but the one I’m dreading the most is a thick sea of black carpet. If you’re a pet who enjoys more practical tributes, I’m openly accepting monetary donations to defray the astronomical $5700 total that it’ll take to blanket my 1800 sqft dungeon. If you’d like to donate towards that, feel free to reach out to me privately for my vanilla paypal address.
Now….let the fun (and the count down) begin!
It can be an agonizing wait….
You finally found the courage to reach out to a Pro Domme (or SWer) and you did your absolute best crafting an introduction worthy of serious consideration. Of course, once you hit send,  the anticipation rises to fever pitch as you glance back to your inbox every few hours. Then when hours becomes a day or two – disappointment, confusion and anxiety can creep in like an uninvited guest at a party. Why is she not getting back to me??
If this has happened to you more than once or twice, this blog is really just for you. This isn’t sultry or erotic, but it comes up quite often, and sometimes all these well intended inquires need is a little guidance. So sit back, I want to give you a peek under the veil and perhaps some insight on why you might not be getting the immediate replies you so deeply long for.
First and foremost, did you read her website and follow the booking protocol?
It’s a simple thing, but when overlooked says a lot. It means you can’t be bothered to take a moment to follow instructions. No, that might not be your intention, but that *is* a bit how it comes off. Obviously, we don’t always judge this harshly, sometimes personal availability comes together in a flash and you might not have the time before reaching out, but believe me, she has it written about how she wants to be communicated with somewhere and it’s best to follow those instructions. Using alternate means she doesn’t specify could add some time to your response! It also sends a message that while you might be enthusiastic, you might not be willing to follow instructions.
Did you basically send an intel free one line email?
I’ve had people send quick scripts like ‘hey are you available tomorrow at 3?’ and expect me to answer that seriously. Now sure from your end, I can see why you’d not want to invest more than a few seconds sending an introduction without first knowing if your Domme is free, but on my end – I don’t want to say yes until I know who I’m dealing with and if we’re compatible.
Do I need to collect a deposit or confirm a reference? Are you looking for an hour of quick fetish play or a 3 hour latex immersion? It’s a loaded question and what type/duration of play absolutely determines those availability factors.
If you started without giving anything for her to really go on; you might find yourself waiting while more thorough introductions are given priority. If I have to send a couple of messages to pry relevant information from you just to find out if I have the opportunity to meet you, it might seem like you’re either not serious, not ready or just not worth the additional effort. Plus, we get a lot of these – sometimes a dozen or so a day, so they aren’t really taken with the same ‘ready to book’ mentality that a more well constructed  message might receive.
Did you send too much information?
I know it’s hard, you want to give your Domme as much to go off of as possible when deciding to meet you or simply convey ALL the details of what you’d like out of a scene, but if your message is going to take her more than a few minutes to reply to and requires a lot of deep reading and response, she may very well need to skip over it. We’ve all been there – if you can get 5 shorter emails replied to in the span it’d take you to reply to one longer message; you know what you’re going to gravitate towards. Work on being concise before hitting send. We aren’t judging here, nor are we assuming your needs don’t require perfect undivided attention, but making yourself easy to communicate with is key, if and when she wants you to expand on something, she’ll ask!
Did you send the same email to a bunch of other Dommes?
Copy and paste messages abound and we can smell them from a mile away.
Too much information, or none at all, not addressing us by name but telling us everything about your background and interests… Yeah, we know you cast a wide net and are just waiting for the first or any, Mistress to reply. We likely won’t invest more than a second reading those and will likely put you on a national time wasters email list. It happens a lot and those people have a reputation of basically zero follow through; we’ll pass.
Are you a ‘known time waster’?
Very recently I had to shut down someone who’s been emailing me for years. Always with questions easily answered by my website, always on the verge of booking – but always falling off the map despite me investing the time to reply to him a dozen or so times in each course.
Once again his message rolled around, and to be honest, I just didn’t have the desire to see him anymore, even though this time – he was ready, deposit in hand. To me at that point, he had just become a fly that buzzed my inbox, happily wasting my time whenever he got horny. I promptly deleted his message and notified other locals of his history of start/stop messaging. Instead of seeing him as a potential playmate, he was now just a unreliable wanker – and I don’t like playing with partners that I have to coax to my doorstep. I want you to WANT to play and I need you to be reliable.
If you’ve reached out for a while without follow through, your Domina may block your address or inform others that you’re a time waster. If you aren’t ready to book – don’t email unless you have specific questions and even then, realize you’re asking for free undivided attention and keep it to an absolute minimum. If you fear you might have done this in the past, you might want to consider compensating that Mistress for having wasted her time, she might very well reconsider allowing you a session. Though don’t make that an expectation.
So, how do I send “the perfect” introduction?
There’s no strict method here, so please don’t walk away thinking that if you haven’t written The Perfect email that she’ll blow you off without a second thought. We almost always meet our clients more than half way with all communication, but if you want to draft something that gets a priority response, and she hasn’t specifically listed how to message her, considering something that looks a lot like this….
Domina Rage, (Use her name – its just polite)
I’m John, I saw your ad/website on eros.
I’m 31, available January 4th-6th 1-11 pm and I’m looking for a 2 hour appointment.
(If the WHEN and how long isn’t included in your first 3 sentences, go back and tweak your writing order, it’s the first thing we scan for)
I’m interested in…. (keep this to one paragraph, she will likely ask for clarification and expansion once accepted)
My references (if any) are…. (make sure these are less than 2 years old. If you don’t have any, just say so!)
Relevant info here: I’m recovering from surgery, I’m still sorting out flight schedule – any absolutely vital variables here. (Your level of fitness, perceived attactiveness, orientation or ethnicity isn’t relevant – leave it out)
^^^^ This guy is very easy to reply to, it’ll take me 10 seconds to cross reference my schedule and give him a firm yes or no, then I can move into asking deeper relevant questions as time allows. He’ll likely hear back ASAP!
Okay, I’ve followed your directions and I’m going to patiently wait for her reply; how do I know she got it?
Send a read receipt with your email.
There’s nothing worse than letting the anticipation and possibility of connection build only to be left wondering if she actually got your email, especially if she doesn’t reply within a few hours or days. Is she busy? Did I do something wrong? Should I follow up? Review boards are full of anxiety riddled advice threads about it….just set your email up to receive a ‘read receipt’. You’ll know the moment she opens your message and if she doesn’t, you’ll know to try again. The spam folder can be a cruel and unflinching Mistress.
If you’ve put your best foot forward and still got left on the sidelines, you can either resend your message or try again with someone else. Try not to be discouraged, this does happen from time to time (though it’s not the norm). The important thing is to not let it put you off of professional BDSM, if you keep a positive attitude and remain consistent in polite communication, eventually you’ll catch the eye of the Domme of your dreams.
Good evening darling readers!
This post is something I’ve wanted to do for looong a while!
As this industry is still pretty shrouded in mystery and misconception, and sometimes SWers can seem more like brands instead of individuals, I decided the other day to open the door on Twitter to let some of YOU ask just about anything and everything you wanted to know about me, Bdsm or SW for the sake of education and interesting reading! here’s the top 20 questions
(All questions have been edited for grammar and user names removed.)

1 I know a lot of people on Twitter who occasionally do sex work, also tweet and DM chat about their lives. I like engaging with them, but find it hard to tell if they are being professionally friendly to me in vain hope I’d hire them (thus I’m a unintentional time waster) or just being friendly in general or a mix of the two. How can I tell the difference?

Most of us approach Twitter from a marketing standpoint, so any opportunity we have to interact with people in public is hugely beneficial! We never know who may or may not visit us, so at least personally, I tend to try to respond to everyone – if nothing more, that interaction gives me an opportunity to show off my personality so more visit minded suitors can get to know me better.
For you; if you never intend to visit someone you’re publicly messaging with, as long as you don’t seek individual attention, you’re fine! Replying to her posts and asking questions for all to see is usually ok! The line really only gets crossed when you reach over to her DM’s or email. I wouldn’t focus too much on the WHY she may be replying, it’d be impossible to tell – so just enjoy the interaction. We really do love communication!

2 How do you cut ties with a recurring harmful client? Either through unchecked patriarchal privilege or emotional manipulation?

This is a great question and one that I wish I had thought about before confronted with my own such occurrence. I have a lot to say here, so bare with me.
Before you start, make sure you’re 100% ready to cut ties with this person. Once you ‘fire’ a client, you really can’t take them back without them realizing your decisions aren’t always final, no matter how bad the behavior gets in the future. For them there’s always a chance you might again change your mind. (I speak from experience here).
I always start with a short, polite and direct email, it’s best either right after an incident or when they’re trying to rebook; I avoid anything out of the blue when they’re not actively communicating with me for one reason or another. You definitely don’t want to open the can of worms in having them think you were stewing over something or thinking about them in their absence.
Generally, I’ll say something like “ I feel something has shifted over time in the way the we interact, I can’t put my finger on it but it’s just not working for me anymore. Out of respect for you and our previous connection; it would be best for us to discontinue our visits and revel in the many positive memories.”
I’d leave out any specifics about the ‘why’ and stick to vague, emotionally neutral, non accusatory statements. 
Then, if the person needs a little ego coddling, I’d highlight how much you have enjoyed things until now and if you’re comfortable doing so – offer a suggestion for who they might see next. I’d only do this if they aren’t dangerous or toxic.
As a warning, even a polite rejection could invite some backlash and the more you say, the more they might refute. Short and sweet is definitely the best way to go (more speaking from experience here).
Standing firm and discontinuing (yet documenting) contact from there is a must once you’ve let someone go. Any replies to your email shouldn’t be read but instead just stored somewhere in a folder. Often times, these people feel entitled to change your mind, defend themselves against your decision or try to manipulate their way back into your good graces. If they are met with continued silence, eventually they get bored and move on. 
Next, a little clean up: block them on all review boards, delete any reviews they’ve posted of you from your website, block them all social media platforms and delete any public commentary where you’ve communicated or shared photos of you two together. 
Lastly, block their phone number and try to put them out of mind. People who tend to be toxic or overly clingy often kick up a little flurry of pursued interest when they notice your attention is dwindling, but after a while  either give up or move on to someone who gives them the interaction they need. I deeply hope this helps!


3 What’s the first thing new male submissives should learn about a dominatrix?

The *first* thing? I’d say to ditch ANY preconceived ideas of how you should interact and how you should behave with a Top.
Clients who get their initial education of bdsm from literature or porn definitely are much harder to connect with and often have unrealistic expectations for both themselves and their Dom/mes. Just be polite, follow any given directions, and relax into the organic flow of the dynamic. Don’t try to be a character from a storied scenario – unless you two have already talked about it.

4 What are things a woman should know about a male dominatrix?

I consulted a couple of male Doms from my personal life for this answer and here’s what they said…
Marcus Said: Submissive women dealing with Dominant men need to communicate when playing, whats working or what isn’t needs to be made very clear. That’s the most important thing to me. I want us both to have a good time, but even if it breaks the fantasy of being taken, boundaries should be made clear upfront and without exception. If they change as the scene continues, speak up!
Prophet Said: One of my biggest things is respect towards all limits established during play. I don’t violate consent under any circumstances and the safety of whoever I play with is the upmost importance.



5 What is more pleasing to you, submission and voluntary obedience, or physical punishment to your slave?

These are really apples and oranges…
If forced to choose between the two, I would always choose obedience.
I punish my slaves for my own pleasure, I can do so simply because I don’t like the way they’ve tucked in their shirt or how they’re standing. I would never ever in a million years want to imagine a slave disobeying me for the pleasure of discipline when I can so easily mete it out on a whim.



6 Hello there! I’m a friend of Matisse’s and fellow baby Domme. In your blog post could you write your process to screen and filter potential clients and what determines if you’ll accept them or pass on them?

Screening is such a personal thing and there’s a lot of ways to go about it, but for me, in the early days, I screened someone entirely by gut instinct for compatibility. It sounds crazy, but it really worked for me!
I’d have someone call for a booking (no emails – can you imagine?) and I’d get a feel for their personality, age, level of sincerity and general attitude. Within the first couple of minutes it told me absolutely everything. 
80% were guys who’d call and just go ‘hey baby can I visit you today?’ then lazy silence. It was hard to hang up on someone who ‘might’ be interested but those clients NEVER show up for their bookings and I’d waste countless of collective hours trying to get them to answer basic questions in order to coordinate their appointment in the first place.
The other 20% were more like ‘Hi, I’m Luke I saw your ad on Eros. I was hoping to see you on the 28th at 7pm etc…. those were the ones I’d move forward with. If they sounded engaged, polite and didn’t immediately blast me with graphic fantasies, they almost always ended up being great clients.
References, I’m still a bit mixed on; a positive reference from a provider I never met isnt’t really much help. Their level of passable doesn’t necessarily match mine. Honestly, when it came down to it, all a reference told me was that those two had met and the client wasn’t blacklisted. That just isn’t good enough so try to come up with more ways to paint a picture of who will be walking through your door.
These days, I take references from providers I know well or know of from various platforms where I’m aware of their reputation. Someone who’s been around a while will make sure they remember the client you’re asking about and offer more than just a thumbs up or down; I look for that extra info to make sure this client and I will click and that any anomalies that spring up, are things I could handle. In my opinion a good reference giver will say something like, “Oh yeah, I remember Chris, he (names something to confirm it’s the same guy), he was polite, on time, and allergic to pet hair.” or “Chris, yeah he was a great client but heads up, he’s a loud talker – make sure you’re well inside your incall before the dirty talk starts”. Priceless. 
I’d also run the phone number or email addy of your potential client through google and against a few blacklist websites to ensure there weren’t any hits (TNA, Verify Him, P411, National Blacklist). Browsing their handle on review boards for alerts and reading their past reviews to get a picture of who this person is was a big help too.
Is he friendly or difficult, are most of his reviews positive or negative, what does he like? It’s all there. Often times you can see how they interact if you care to dig into their general board interactions. Anyone who likes to argue with strangers on SW boards is an automatic decline for me. Often times I’d come across random comments they’d make on the web by running an email address – good gawd!! If a client seems like he looks for things to critique instead of being in pursuit of pleasure – I pass. 
I’d only really ‘bother’ with people who gave full, personable inquiries and that followed directions. My website isn’t complex so if someone wasn’t able to follow a few short instructions to get to my doorstep, they certainly couldn’t be trusted to follow instructions once they arrived. 
Last but not least, never ignore your instinct. Even if you don’t see any reason to decline someone but something feels ‘wrong’ – listen to that intuition! Almost every provider has a story about the day they saw someone against their judgment… intuition is priceless!


7 What’s the most misunderstood part of your career?

That because we’re Dom/mes – our job is all about kicking back and being pampered – or that this is in ANY way a normal job with the typical work and energy demands of an average career.

Pretty often people assume SWers have it made in the shade, that our rate covers only the work we do when face to face with a client; and while we have some obscenely fun times with our visitos, there’s plenty of behind the scenes work that goes into each and every play date. You really never get to be off.

It still surprises me when people seem shocked that I can’t squeeze in a 2 hour appointment on a random same day afternoon or when someone writes me an email and it takes more than 24 hours to respond. Dommes need to take days off, but a lot of clients don’t seem to account for us taking 1-2 days off a week to handle our personal lives. The phrase ‘don’t you have a slave to do that stuff for you’ just gets used WAY too often.

8 Do Lifestyle Dommes really ‘live the life 24/7

I’d say it depends on your perspective, but for the most part – yes!
I happen to be a lifestyler with a small stable of loved, collared slaves and there are plenty of days where they’re trussed up in the dungeon being flogged and probed, but I’m not always chasing them down with a riding crop in 6 in heels if that’s what you mean. That’s a lovely fantasy, but it isn’t my every waking minute.
My slaves and I do plenty of vanilla activities too and on the surface, we look like any other couple or group of people. The dynamic never disappears though; I toy with them in vanilla settings all the time, I’m still very much their Mistress, even when I’m not in a catsuit and corset.
It’s far from being the elaborate fantasy of a Mistress being woken up by a naked slave wearing nipple clamps and a chastity device, but I’ve absolutely taken a slave into a display room of an IKEA for some discreet ball kicking because I felt like doing so right then and there. In my stable, there’s not a single moment where my slaves aren’t 100% subject to my whims.


9 How can you best explain your kinks and limits to a dominatrix you haven’t seen before?

Honestly, I’d be conscience and make a list.
While a lot of us tend to ask these things in email, many more prefer to discuss it in person. That can lead to forgetting important items on the spot or possibly losing valuable intel to the natural flow of a conversation – on both sides.
It may feel slightly exposing to hand someone a written list of things that turn you in (or don’t) but for me, it’s priceless intel that I know you’ve had proper, uninterrupted time to think about. Plus, isn’t part of the reason you’re visiting a Domme to feel exposed and vulnerable anyway?


10 How do SWers compartmentalize their feelings when with a client?

This may be the only question on this list I can’t offer a good answer to.
I’d say that SWers tend to be primal beings, often very sexual and very self aware. It can take time to get the hang of it, but I think most of us just look at dates as they are – short opportunities for mutual enjoyment. We never forget that you’re EXPECTING us to keep things within the agreed boundary and that to keep sane, it’s not an option to mix personal feelings so we almost reflexively keep it separate in our hearts and minds. Clients wave in and out of our lives, some leaving a big impression, it’d break our hearts if we allowed ourselves to fall for people who may decide not to see us at any moment, for any reason.
It also helps that we don’t enter into this looking to fall in love, even though we absolutely do form powerful attachments – especially over time, it’s natural that we can keep those connections in perspective so we can keep seeing you!


11 (1/2) If I sent an email to a provider and a few days have gone by without a response, what should I do? 

If it’s been a couple of days, I’d check her website to see if she’s on vacation or on a day off before you probe further. Sometimes we just need to disconnect for a bit and emails just need to sit and wait.
If she appears to be active, I’d examine what my message said. Did you follow directions? Did you say too much or too little? Did you get the right email address?
Try again one more time, making sure to do anything she’s listed for communication preferences. If she doesn’t get back to you after another day or two, just move on.


12 (2/2) If I have a clean reputation and a provider says she can’t see me or falls off the map after screening, what should I do? How am I supposed to make appointments if I don’t know why I’m being passed over?

That’s tricky. I’ve definitely had to decline people who *thought* they were squeaky clean and really weren’t.
As mentioned above, I’d examine my communications. Providers will stop replying if you aren’t giving us the info we request or reply with wall of text style communications. If you’ve kept it together and haven’t made your coorespondence a chore – your reputation may have gotten damaged somewhere along the way.
You may have underpaid, stayed over time, broken something, stained sheets, developed a reputation for showing up late, canceled a lot or pushed a boundary without realizing… In the heat of the moment, to a visitor those can be ‘small sins’ but to a provider, it can be a reason not to welcome you back.
It’ll take some time to repair reputation damage but it’s easily doable. Just be more self aware when you’re with your next provider and use her as your reference in the future. Most ladies only need to know who you saw last, not your entire pooning history.


13 I have a companion I see who travels a lot, I’d like to ask her to tour with me on an upcoming business trip. Can you give me an idea of what it’s like to travel with a provider? 

This is a very personal thing but the consensus is that expectations need to be laid out thoroughly ahead of time, all the way down to where she will sleep, how much private time will she have away from you, what sleeping hours will be and how much play interaction you’re expecting.
Typically, accommodations, travel costs and meals – as well as a set rate for her time would fall under the responsibility of the client and a deposit for a longer booking like that is typical as well once you’ve decided all the above factors. While that might seem like a lot, just remember that while she’s away with you, she’s not able to otherwise run her business or see other clients, she’s also about to put 100% of her physical and mental energy into you, every moment you’re together, so this is a big request, even if for you – it’s a vacation
Last but not least, make sure you have a very strong rapport with her before you spend multiple days together! Even if your chemistry is amazing, some people tend to be highly connective in short bursts. Make sure you take that into account if you’re considering a trip that can be very emotionally and physically demanding for you both!


14 Do you get aroused by your sessions?

Yes. Yes I do; often and dangerously.


15 How does someone become your personal slave?

For me, I’ve always chosen people I’m already seeing professionally. Highly compatible clients with a desire to serve, politely make that known to me and if I feel the same way, we explore that dynamic over the next year or two while I get to know them better. If it works out, I’ve claimed them – if not, they remain cherished clients and friends no harm no foul. That doesn’t men the door is always open to anyone, anytime. I view slaves as life partners to varying degrees, so if you’re looking to belong to a Woman, just consider first how big of a commitment that is before you even ask!


16 I used to see a regular provider for about 5 years before she retired, about once every couple of months she’d let me take her for dinner off the clock, it was nice! Now I’m seeing another provider and she never let’s me take her out and treat her, it’s only appointments. Is that normal?

Honestly, it’s completely normal for providers and clients to only see each other in a professional context. It’s a rare thing that both parties can keep the dynamic from becoming too recreational when you take it outside of the usual prescribed confines.
My bet is that you and Provider A had known each other for a while and built up that sort of trust friendship that allowed it. She also must have had a personal life scenario that make it possible for her to casually date you.
Provider B either just wants to keep things uncomplicated, doesn’t have the time to allow casual connections or may have a partner where ‘dating off the clock’ may be problematic.
I’d avoid taking it personally and just appreciate what you two are able to share, it’s best to leave the veil down and don’t press the issue. No SW wants to disappoint a visitor by declining personal invitations, but sometimes, we have to.


17 I read a lot about Dommes who sometimes bring friends over during sessions, how can I politely ask my Mistress to do that? I’ve always wanted to be bossed around by two women!

By scheduling a duo.
It’s really rare that another Pro Domme is going to play with you, at your specified time, all dolled up, for free. I hate to break it to you but that happens more in a lifestyle scenario when you’re a collared slave or if a Mistress has a friend staying over and that friend feels like it. If you want to explore two Mistresses, scheduled it! It’s obscenely fun, but almost certainly isn’t going to happen if you say ‘you can have a friend join if you want’. Chances are, she’d have to pay that friend out of her own pocket to accommodate you.


18 You seem to be really friendly with other Dominatrices on Twitter. Are you all really that close or is it just for show?

Ha! I fucking LOOOOOVE my Domme friends. They seriously give me life. There are some people that I’m closer to than others, but you can absolutely tell our friendships are very real. We have ALL hung out together at parties, bars, each others homes, it’s a community over here.
I’ve definitely worked in other locations where it’s more catty or competitive but that vibe just doesn’t seem to play out here. How can you not be totally in love with your peers when they’re all sexy bad asses and genuinely good people?


19 Miss Victoria, I hope this isn’t too personal but may I ask your sexual orientation?

Yes you may! I’m pan-sexual polyamorous.
This means I don’t have a gender preference for my partner(s), and that I am non monogamous.
To be clear, I don’t openly date at this time, though should I change my mind on a whim, that’s entirely my call. I do keep my hands full with my stable of long term committed slaves.


20 Miss Victoria, if you weren’t a Dominatrix, what would you be?

There is no universe that exists where I wouldn’t have ultimately chosen to be a Domina, BUT if that didn’t exist, I would have also been interested in becoming a surgeon, an attorney, a financial adviser or I’d run an animal charity or animal sanctuary.
I hope you all enjoyed the Q & A, I know I did 😉