4 years ago, I shared a blog post detailing the ‘how to’s’ and ‘how to not make a mess’, regarding anal play.
Funny enough, it became one of my most popular posts! Being reblogged and shared as a guide across other platforms and provider websites, I was very happy to be able to shed some light on a tricky topic and I really do hope it helped people enjoy more comfortable and immersive experiences.
This was still some time ago and I know how easy it is for posts to get lost in a sea of naughty writings, so I’m starting my Thursday with strap on play in mind, to once again share the important concept of being properly clean and hygienic during anal invasion; so buckle up – I’m about to get a little graphic.
For those who think prep beyond a shower really isn’t necessary before you take on a nice thick 9in dildo, expertly wielded by a fierce Femme Domme; I always like to use a short analogy.
Imagine you’re cleaning up after a dinner party and you’ve served a dish that’s a bit…messy…
Just because you scrape the food off the plate and into the trash doesn’t mean the plate is now ‘clean’. You already know you’re going to have to rinse it off – or hell, run it through the dish washer before you’re going to offer it to someone else or put it back in the cabinet, right? You’d be a pretty bad host if you didn’t!
If I rub anything like a finger or napkin (or dildo) across that dirty plate – what do you think is going to happen?
While many lovers of back door play tend to not be too terribly shy about a little mess, (hey, it is what it is) there’s no reason to simply use the bathroom and say ‘oh, that’ll be good enough!’
Nothing brings sexy fun to a screeching halt more quickly than having to grab some towels and excuse your partner to the bathroom to ‘clean up’. Preparing for anal penetration does take a bit of time and patience, but is SO worth the effort – and your partner will REALLY appreciate (if not demand) it.
So where do you start?
First, shake off any embarrassment, stigma or hesitation in the topic itself. Anal is FUN and getting ready for it shouldn’t be a humiliating chore – it should be a part of a sexy ritual. Just like we all typically brush out teeth or jump in the shower before we get wrapped up in an intimate moment, this is just another step in the process, so let’s just remove any shame before we move on.
Being in an age of sexual evolution, we’re graced with TONS of methods of prep – from pills and drinks, to different devices and tools, it’s all out there and easy to get a hold of. Being so spoiled for choice can of course, be a double-edged sword if you’re just getting started, so I’lll share that my favorite method: plain and simple, a good old-fashioned enema. It’s quick, clean, cheap and easy on the body – also the most universally used and agreed on across the board.
For your first time, you can buy a disposable Fleet brand enema for $2 at any drug store.
This is great if you don’t want to (or can’t) store any equipment around the house. Now, these do contain saline, so if your concerned with using chemicals, you can dump out the fluid and fill the container with water before moving forward. DO NOT ADD SOAP! Water works just as well and won’t leave you feeling dehydrated.
If you’d like to be a bit more thorough and give yourself more than one rinse, you can buy one of those fancy schamcy at home enema kits ($10-$30)
These are pretty great, but they might be a little intimidating or inconvenient for a first timer. Try to veer towards the easier option at first with the Fleet style until you’ve done this at least once. Bag style enemas will usually require a place to hang the bag, though you can really just hold it up with your hand, but think that out before you buy.
You can also find bulb style enemas just about everywhere – but personally – I don’t find these to be very sanitary unless they’re made of medical grade silicone.
Most of them are made of porous plastic – which is not possible to THROUGHLY disinfect. You can wash them out with soap and water but I wouldn’t stick anything inside myself that I wasn’t SURE is thoroughly clean. If you buy bulb style enemas – consider them disposable and single use unless the package VERY specifically says it’s MEDICAL GRADE SILICONE.
Another workable choice if you’re just doing a routine clean out, is a more permanent fixture, like a nice shower attachment. Personally, I don’t find it to be terribly sanitary to release any sort of waste in the shower, but if you like this method – I won’t personally stand in your way – it’s your shower after all! I’ve heard nothing but great things about this unit in particular:
Timing is everything, so the first time you give this a go, make sure it’s AT LEAST 2 hours prior to play. If you hear nothing else I’m saying to you, register that last statement. At least 2 hours – I’m serious!!!!
As someone who’s been on the wrong end of a not fully expelled enema, I can attest that you NEVER want to do this right before or during the session unless you’re highly experienced; even then, there’s still a risk of leakage. Once the enema water hits body temperature, it can be very hard to tell if you’ve gotten it all out of your system and you don’t want any spills to occur once you get going.
Time is the only thing to ensure proper expulsion has happened. You’ll need to do this once or twice to really get the feel of things and read your body’s signals.
Enemas will always win in my book: they’re safe, reliable, cheap and easy. Just find what works for you, read the instructions and be gentle.
Last but not least, let me also give you a bit of uncommon advice…
You might be sitting there and thinking these steps are just too inconvenient or that you can just ‘skip’ it…. or if you’re a provider on the other end of the dildo, you might not want to enforce this step. If that’s your stance, imagine the worst case scenario (pulling out a very dirty dildo during a scene) and mentally work through how you’ll handle the situation without embarrassing yourself or partner.
I’ve been there and HOW you two handle it can make or break a scene. What will you say? How will you gracefully dismiss yourself to the restroom to ‘clean up’ – how will you discreetly hide or discard a very soiled toy? (hint: have medical pads on hand) How will you laugh it off, clean your partner up, break the tension and continue playing in other ways? Just think it out.
If you do anal play enough it WILL at some point happen. It just will – consider it part of the territory. It’s not the apocalypse, but it’s better to have a plan then to be caught like a deer in headlights trying to not break the scene.
Now if I haven’t scared you off – or even if I have – I’ll just remind you that despite these steps and considerations, anal play is utterly amazing. As a ‘giver’, I never feel more powerful, sexy and in control than when I’m pegging someone. It’s just really erotic – what can I say?
As a receiver, it’s clearly just as pleasurable – you’re being violated, taken and explored in the most sensual and intimate way possible – what’s not to love? Even if the prep to get there doesn’t become your favorite past time, just remember that anal feels good; reallllly good and even if these little intimate extras seem a bit foreign at first, you’re penetrative play will be SO much better for the effort.
Now, happy pegging!