I decided recently that it was time to indulge in a childhood favorite of mine. You see, as of the beginning of July, I have been on a very rigid “corset training” diet. Basically all you need to know about this, is outside of cucumbers and fish and chicken – there’s really not much else I can eat. I tell you this, so you understand the importance of this little snack….

Smores. Simple, fucking delicious, and at this moment in time, the only thing that will satisfy my random mid afternoon hunger pang. I had anticipated this yesterday, making a trip to Whole Foods for organic graham crackers, marshmallows and of course Voges chocolate. I bring everything home and hold off from indulging until today.  2pm rolls around, and I break everything out. My solution to warming the chocolate and marshmallow is a simple 10 second trip through the microwave…something I’ve done many many times before…but today? oh no. My marshmallow turns into a puddle – literally – of goo. Awesome. No semblance of a shape, just a puddle of white blob covering my entire graham cracker and most of the napkin it sat on.

Attn: Whole Foods Market….. Your home-made marshmallows suck. I’m sorry to be the one to tell you, but yes, they suck. They don’t hold up to a microwave and I highly doubt they’d hold up to a campfire. Go back to selling groceries and dried out sushi. Leave the marshmallows to the professionals.