When it all boils down to it, I have Madonna to thank for my career….let me show you why.

I was 9 years old when I first saw this. 9. Not 16, not 18, not in my early 20’s – I was 9.

During a blisteringly sunny Florida afternoon, I was parked on the living room floor, burning away the hours of a weekend watching MTV. Out of nowhere, I recall in perfect detail, looking up to catch flashes of shiny black and porcelain white dancers physically acting out one of the most intense visuals I’ve ever seen. My throat was tightly locked a stunned silence as goosebumps slowly began to cover me from head to toe. Latex, chains, people being pushed around and tied up…

madonna-human-nature-video-set-0001

My interest in power play had come well before this video.

The first time I was caught spanking a playmate, I was 5 years old. Though I’d like to go on record by saying, she had actually asked me to do it. I’m not sure why, but I didn’t hesitate for a second in helping her explore her curiosity then or any other time in the future she sought me out for similar ‘treatment’.  Despite the obscure pleasure we both derived from our friendship, I realized I enjoyed our games WAY more then she did…. and in a very different way. It sparked something in me, something my other friends didn’t seem to share and something I quickly learned that I couldn’t openly talk about. I felt alone and unable to channel my curiosities into anything aside from a bit of playground cruelty.

Those feelings made me feel so different and often times entirely alone, until that fateful summer day 4 years later. There she was, Madonna on MTV, covered in rubber and spanking her background dancers with a riding crop. I wanted to be her, but more importantly, now I knew these feelings indeed had an outlet….and I knew that I wasn’t alone. Somewhere out there, even if it was only Madonna and her dancers, I had kinky kindred spirits.

While I’m sure I would have ended up as a Dominatrix no matter what my early inspirations might have been, she was the first latex clad lady I’d laid eyes on, and for her willingness to create a video like that for mass consumption, she has my eternal gratitude.