Let me start by saying; this is not a rant.
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I’m sure the hair just stood up on the back of your neck with that preface, but I promise, it’s not.
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It is at most a reminder, and one that’s important to my ability to continue at the sexy Dominant force of nature you’ve come to know me to be.
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After spending this entire weekend with my phone blowing up and both new and returning visitors contacting me accidentally or intentionally outside my posted days and hours; I’m starting my work with a little drained (and that’s not acceptable) so this post needs to be made for both my sanity and the happiness of those around me.
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Somewhere along the line, every sex worker must realize that their written etiquette, phone call hours and such will be missed or flat out ignored at times. Your phone number is posted on the Internet for chrissake, so you can’t be too terribly shocked when it happens. It’s not always intentional, but it’s up to us to either go with the flow or assert ourselves, that’s just the way this works.
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While I’ve personally always publicly subscribed to a Tuesday-Saturday work day and an 11am-11pm availability with a strong preference for NO TEXTING unless it’s an emergency; there was once a point where I’d respond to emails, calls and texts no matter when they came in.
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Someone wanted to chat about the possibility of getting together at 8am? You bet, I’d pick up the phone.
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Someone texting at 1am so see if I might be free the next day? Sure…. I’d take that correspondence too.
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I was the ‘Always Available Domme” and you know what – I burned out really really fast. It didn’t take very long for me to feel disrespected when someone would say they’re read my website thoroughly, but would trample right over my etiquette. Or for me to roll my eyes when someone mentioned how submissive they already felt to me but had a hard time following the rules beforehand. That wasn’t how I wanted to feel when I communicated with people – and that’s not the kind of Top I wanted to turn in to.
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This was years ago and I’ve been much more active about my personal space since, but I’ve noticed again the seeping in of gentle boundary pushing playmates tapping my shoulder during days and times and ways they know better.
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Now, again this isn’t a rant. I’m not chastising anyone, on occasion accidents happen and if you’ve been seeing me for a while, it can slip your mind. I get it and I forgive you!
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What I’m doing here is reminding everyone formally and making you aware that I’m a living, breathing woman with a quasi vanilla life outside of this. I can’t and don’t work 24/7 (and neither do you); I’m not always in my Domina mindset.
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When it comes time to play, you bet I am, but on my days off or before 11am; I’m with my family, I’m sleeping, bathing, running errands or relaxing.
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My demand that my private time is respected isn’t a rejection. It’s not me saying that I’m not interested in you, or that I’m not excited to read your messages or take your calls.
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It’s just me saying that every battery needs to recharge and that I do need to keep some space between my private life and my professional life. Just as you expect me to respect your privacy, I demand you respect mine. Our arrangement is terribly adult and intimate, as I’m sure you would agree. I need to trust YOU just as much as you’d need to trust me….and you can imagine how quickly that trust would be broken if the shoe were on the other foot.
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So, if you call/text on a Sunday or Monday and I ask you to wait for my response on Tuesday: just wait for Tuesday. I’m not going to forget about you – I promise – and I’m not going to stop what I’m doing to address your needs right then and there.
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If you text me and I ask you to call or email instead, don’t try to convince me that I need to relax and just let you keep texting me because you prefer it.
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If you call me at 8:30 am and I answer, it’s because I don’t pay for a separate phone line for ‘work’ and you’re calling me on MY time. I won’t sound sexy and I won’t be ready to talk about what turns you on. I’ll ask for you to call back after 11; there won’t be any chat because ‘you already have me on the line’.
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Plain and simple, I’m definitely an enthusiastic kinkster, but I’m not Robo Domme and I have these preferences in place for a reason. What’s happened in the past, I won’t sweat. If you’ve done one or all of these things – shake it off, I’m not mad and I don’t need an apology, just as long as you take this message to heart and show more awareness in the future.
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I’m offering my undivided time and attention 12 hours a day, 5 days a week, so within that space – go crazy!
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Outside of that, just imagine me with wine in hand on the couch watching Netflix.
