This isn’t a post I intended to write….
In a small flurry of late night tweets, I opened up about a private happening that occurred yesterday – causing an absolute outpour of support, questions and connections from you – my ever-loving and devoted audience.
While at first, I felt my vague little rambling would explain any sudden silences in my web presence, it actually caused some of you more concern then I had intended. So, in this once in a lifetime entry, I’m going to share the most personal aspect of my life.
Yesterday, surrounded by family, a staff of devoted nurses and a 24 hour morphine drip, my grandmother became one with the universe.
As many of you already know, she was like a Mother to me. She raised me, supported my every decision and filled me with just enough courage and general life skills to make most of what I try to do in life work out. As far as I’m concerned, she is the greatest and most amazing woman who ever walked the planet. Yesterday was a loss to us all – not just me.
I’m very fortunate to have had so much of her loving interaction in my life, and even more fortunate to have seen the ‘end’ coming for a while. There have been many occasions over the last year where I was able to make the trek to Florida to spend some quality time with her. We reminisced, watched bad tv together, and I explained how iphones can take ‘selfies’ as we squeezed our faces together to snap some pretty regrettable photos. It was everything a person in my position could hope for – no sudden loss, just a gentle glide into the inevitable
I’ve considered this moment for the last year, I knew it would come and expected to be shattered. Somehow, I’m not. I’m sad of course, but I feel determined, strong, loved and as I mentioned in my tweets; ever more devoted to pursuing life’s pleasures.
Until someone can prove there is some deeper meaning to life, I am going to assume that it’s all about finding pleasure in ever moment and living happily without regret.
That’s what she did; my vanilla, government employed Grandmother packed up her life about 60 years ago, and moved cross-country when it was still quite dangerous to do so because “she was tired of the Chicago winters”.
She raised a child, became a widow and years later, fell in love with and married a bad boy on a motorcycle that she spent the rest of her days traveling with. She was unstoppable and fearless, and now, more than ever, I hinge myself on her tireless example.
For those who are concerned about me personally; don’t be.
I have several loving slaves at my immediate reach, a small but devoted family and a resolve that is unshakable. I will take today off with the intent of collecting my thoughts, but I will be resuming life as normal tomorrow. I have a full month of play on my schedule and I couldn’t be more excited about each and every connection – in fact, I almost worry for these dear suitors because my energy level is bizarrely through the roof.
If you’re the type who wants to ‘help’, please know that I don’t need a shoulder to cry on. I’m just not that type. If you’d like to leave your mark somehow in this moment, I am setting up a crowd fund for my mother and grandfather to help cover her final expenses. 24 hour nursing care and morphine cocktails can rack up quite a tab!
For those who would like to donate, the info is right here: http://www.gofundme.com/m83fymrc
And for those who’d like to enjoy some very life affirming experiences; you’re welcome to indulge me in person. I’ll have availability from this coming Sunday onwards.
