This past month, I’ve done a LOT of heavy verbal scenes. Whether in role plays, dynamic multi Dom/me scenarios or just intense fetish play – I’ve been a non stop machine of sensual filthy talk.
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Since its come up a time or two, being asked “how” to get into the groovy of dirty talk, I though this post would be helpful for those trying to get their bearings the in land of licentious linguistics. It’s not always easy, but I’ve got to say – it’s one of the absolute best ways to really enhance an experience and make it truly memorable.
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Fortunately, unlike many of my instructionals – this one comes down to just a small handful of helpful suggestions, and by all means, if you have more to add, feel free to comment and I’ll publish your addition for everyone’s advantage!
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Everyone has trigger words, find out what they are and use them liberally!
This is an easy one – if you know what your partner is into at all, you’ve already got some solid leads to the words that will push them over the edge. If they like bondage – chances are they’ll be deeply aroused when you point of how vulnerable and helpless they look or how tempting they look wrapped up in all that rope.
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If they like chastity, let them know how appropriate and unflinching that device looks around their restricted throbbing organs. Do they like certain physical attributes? Go into detail! When you’re hot and heavy, everything can sound sexy; ample cleavage, racing pulse, gleaming rubber, thick prod, scarlet cane welts, wet thighs. Don’t be bashful.
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Building from there in any direction is easy, just keep to a base theme and get as specific as you can until you start to see the reaction you’re after.
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Describe how something makes you feel!
I saw this in full swing the other day, duo-ing with the wonderful Mistress Matisse, she was gleefully kicking away at our bound partners balls. In every sense of the word, this was pure sadism – and in between his groans and gasps, he would peek up and catch her doing a happy dance. Smiling down at him with a sultry reassuring tone that he was making her SO happy. His desire to please kicked his brain in to high gear and once he noticed how much this was working for her – it really started working for him. His cheeks flushed more with pleasure than pain every time she’d throw her hair back and wickedly laugh.
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I’ve noticed the same in other facets – during a heavy flogging where my partner was shivering and near tears, I leaned in and let him feel my racing pulse, this immediately turned his pain into desperate pleasure. It can be a very powerful motivator to let your partner know just how intense this experience is for you too – even if they’re primarily on the receiving end of the activity at the time. In whatever way that might look like (arousal, anticipation, excitement) let them know you’re as deep in it as they are and it’s because of them!
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If all else fails, describe what you see!
I incorporate a lot of sensory deprivation with my partners and while I love keeping them guessing, despite my desire to control their perception, I don’t want them to miss a moment of the action! Nothing is hotter than talking about what you see and directing someone’s consciousness with your commentary. Don’t be afraid to just start narrating, let yourself get caught up in it and don’t be shy about really letting yourself go!
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Personally, my favorite thing is describing what it looks like when I take someone with a nice thick dildo. Watching their shy orifice open up and clench over my rigid rubber cock as I thrust into them – sometimes I have to be very cautious over what I say to keep things from getting too intense, too fast. Words are powerful and can really immerse someone in their predicament.
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Cut yourself some slack…
Here’s the most important thing I can tell you: everyone wants to sound perfectly poised and eloquent in the dungeon or bedroom, but when your body is coursing with adrenaline and endorphins, most of us are lucky to choke out a coherent sentence. Try as you might, not every attempt is going to be great – and that’s ok.
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Sex, kink and intimacy of all kinds, come in many shades. It’s personal and imperfect, but meant to be fun. If you give things a go and you run out of dialog – don’t sweat it. If you get tongue tied – who cares! I promise, no matter what situation you’re in, you will overthink any missteps much more than your partner(s) will. Just relax and see where things take you – but above all, don’t forget to have fun!
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Here’s hoping these tips help some of you tongue tied adventurers….though I should say, I’m always game for private lessons to those who need more direct instruction and example.
Your pictures are gorgeous and your blog is a very interesting read. I just wanted to let you know you should watermark all of the pics you post because there are men, unscrupulous or ignorant psos, writers, etc. Whom will download your pictures and use them as their own pics or just post them online everywhere. If they do post them you should at least be getting the free marketing for yourself. Keep up the awesome Domming 🙂