I love having a job that gets me off. I am mentally gratified, sexually curious and physically satisfied by what I do on a daily basis. Granted I do not play ALL DAY EVERY DAY, but I prefer quality over quantity. A handful of meaningful, passionate and intense sessions a week has done wonders for me mentally.
I grew up in a strange household, my parents were both very rigid, with very precise ideas of how things should be done. The only catch? They neglected to articulate their expectations. This lack of structure made me crave organization and direction. Since I very often didn’t know what I should be doing, I became afraid that my own personal growth was inadequate. I became a control freak – over organizing, over managing and over thinking every aspect of my life. I had no avenue for these feelings – all I knew that with direction and structure, came the feeling of safety and security. An attraction to bdsm seems like a clear connection of dots, being in a dominant position was therapeutic to me. Expressing my desires to my slaves, clearly stating my expectations and watching them humbly obey and indulge me brought a very real sense of self satisfaction….and it still does. However, this is just one of many reasons I have personally made the life choice of being a dominatrice.
I realize the value of my profession as far as my own mental and physical health goes, so when others come to me with underlying reasons they choose to engage in d/s play, I take our session that much more serious. Role play is a wonderful way to work out past issues – age play being the most common. I’ve played the part of the loving but strict “mommie” to many fantastic gents. They are all very intelligent, well spoken and completely sane and successful, but the need to feel like a “loved little boy” is something they lacked. It may be taboo, but if dressing up like a Donna Reed character and acting out loving memories helps heal old wounds for some people, then well…. I’m game.
Same goes for “what if fantasies”….Things we cannot do in real life, but it gnaws on the consciousness.
Examples? Well, being caught peeping by a neighbor while she’s stepping out of the shower – being caught trying on women’s panties by a wife – being caught shoplifting and being punished for it – fulfilling forced bi fantasies – fulling capture/kidnapping fantasies…. All things that can easily obsess the heart, however you may not be in a position to do in real life. Guess what, every one of those above scenarios, I have gotten a chance to experience and the visitor involved with the playtime was ever so grateful.
I love role play – and I DO get into it. I dress the part, I set the scene, I make it as real as possible. I make it easy for you to BELIEVE I am really your mommie, girlfriend, angry wife, teacher or kidnapper. We become these roles and make the experience more powerful because of that. I am giving you a powerful memory that you can keep forever, if that’s what you need, and it doesn’t need to interfere with your daily life. Powerful psychology, but oh so much fun.
Lastly but not least, the sexual aspect of it. How many kinksters are married or otherwise attached but for whatever reason, they have not told their partner about their darker desires. Perhaps a fear of rejection, perhaps their partner just isn’t “that way” or maybe it’s one of a thousand other reasons, but regardless they have kept it to themselves. What are you to do? You do not want to cheat on your partner, you do not want to leave your partner…you just want to play. It’s that simple and it’s that innocent. Hiring a professional might just be your best bet. I’m not using this as a sales pitch here, it’s just a personal opinion. A Dominatrix isn’t looking to be in a relationship with you, she doesn’t want to have anything to do with your life outside of your time together and she certainly isn’t looking to violate the rule of discretion between the two of you….most of all….she is not going to have sex with you. Mistresses do not fuck their clients. You can play, without violating the scantily of an existing relationship. I personally value outside relationships my clients have. By engaging in play with me, if I see a ring on your finger or know you have a partner, I am extra cautious when we are together. I do not leave marks (unless you specifically tell me it’s ok), I do not call you, and I do not leave traces of myself on your (perfume, make up, glitter, whatever). I have no desire to complicate things and I value the balance you have created in your own life. However within those rigid boundaries, you are mine to play with and I am happy to indulge your weirdest kinks.
Domination, fetish and role play mean different things to everyone, but the bottom line is it’s therapeutic and fun. It’s not some dark and terrifying secret we must all keep to ourselves, never to speak of with another human being. These desires are NATURAL and if there is anything in this world that can help us ease emotion pain, sexual curiosity or expand our horizons ~ isn’t it worth a try?
