How to plase a Dominant Woman…

Sorry to disappoint, but no, this is not a  blog detailing the fine art of “oral worship” or any other sexual reference – this one is frank, for some of you who need a refresher in etiquette when relating to a Dominatrix. So, to make sure you get off on the right foot when looking to play, here is a good list of rules you should generally stick to…. and don’t worry lovely boys, I’m really only directing this at a few choice people. Most of you are nothing but perfect gentlemen!

Before you run to call your Mistress, see if she has a website. Most of us do and they are just full of answers to the questions you will inevitably ask us. Rates, availability, location, more photos, info about our interests and so on. There will likely plenty of other notes, perhaps a certain protocol you must follow in order to book in the first place…no matter what, it’s just best to check. You’ll get a good sense of who you will be dealing with.

Once the hard work of actually reading her website is done, go look at her photos…yes, really look at them. REMEMBER HER NAME AND WHAT SHE LOOKS LIKE. I am never surprised when someone says they have seen a few women in the past, but when I ask their names for reference, all too often you boys don’t remember. This is excusable if you only had a meeting or two several years ago, but if you’ve seen the lady recently you should recall more about her then where she was located. If you can’t, there goes your reference – and your first impression.

Next it’s time to call for booking. Your questions have been answered for the most part by her website, so you are on to discuss the fine details of a possible meeting and assess how you connect! Fantastic!

Don’t assume all communication with her should be as casual as with your friends….text messages are never a good idea. Aside from the obvious lack of privacy, you can always accidentally mistype her phone number before you send a raunchy text OR even worse, as an fyi – all cell phone carriers SAVE EVERY text message you send. If you ask for a copy of the records, they are not required to give them to you…however, if the police ask for it you bet they’ll get a copy.  So in short, SMS is impersonal and dangerous, pick up the phone and make the call. Above all – don’t be shy! I enjoy polite conversations with my visitors and you are no exception, try to relax and open up so we can begin to connect.

Moving on – you’ve booked your appointment and you’ve arrived at my place. At this point, if you are at my doorstep I expect that you are sober, clean and on time. I have canceled appointments simply because the boy arrived too late without even a phone call. Usually I can rearrange my schedule to accommodate our session if you give me adequate notice that you are stuck in traffic, but just showing up 20 minutes past your start time is a bad idea…believe me, unless you are into humiliation – you really don’t want me to answer the door at that point.

Also, note how I mention “arrive clean”. I am amazed I still need to say it, but I’ve had guys show up to my dungeon having just gotten finished doing heavy yard work. Really. I do have a shower available, so you lovely boys who need to come in after or during work, this is not directed to you. It’s you gentlemen who have the entire day off, and think it’s no big deal to arrive a little stinky, that I have it out for. I do not play with dirty pets….I will NOT be putting my hands on you….I will however dismiss you to the shower where I will promptly hose you off with COLD water for making me take time out of my day to bathe you.  Again, this is NOT the same if you are coming from work, a long drive or anything similar. If you let me know in advance that you’ll need to freshen up,  a nice warm shower with unscented soap and heated towels will be waiting for you when you arrive.

Playtime – here’s the fun part. At this point I almost never have any worries. My toys are either compliant, expressive and well-behaved OR they are acting up on purpose to gain punishment, either way I am happy; unless you clam up. I know it is very nerve wrecking to meet someone new for the first time. We need to make an instant connection, get on the same page with interests and boundaries before gliding into an amazing play session. Believe me, that in itself is hard enough….but it’s perfectly doable if you can relax.  I can assure you of this for several reasons.

 You are new to me as well, but the ball is in MY court to make YOU comfortable. When I open the door, you will be greeted by a friendly, warm and accepting woman. I am not here to judge you or strike fear into your heart – at least not until playtime begins. I will be dressed in my leather and latex, but at this point you are not even asked to address me as Mistress. I am just Victoria while we adjourn to the sitting room to get to know each other. I always allow a few extra minutes for new pets to just sit and talk. I need you to shake off everything in the outside world before I can begin with you. Traffic, your job, your mortgage, nervousness – all of that needs to leave your head. So lets chat about your day, the weather, and what you’d like out of the session. Even if we’ve discussed your interests on the phone, I will be asking again. I need to see how you LOOK when you tell me these things, how they make you FEEL, and on occasion I will need you to elaborate. Believe me it will help you get into the mood.

After playtime, it’s time to wrap things up. Because we play for your FULL paid time, all doddling afterwards needs to be kept short and sweet. You are not expected to stand up, dress as quickly as possible and leave – I have planned adequate time for you to shower, chat with me briefly, find all of your personal belongings and say our good byes. What I don’t appreciate is asking for snacks, a bubble bath or attempting to engage me in hour-long discussions….worse yet, trying to experience just ONE MORE thing before you go.  By this I mean, after you are showered, don’t come out and ask for anal play or bondage unless you are prepared to extend our time together. In short, I value my time as much as I value yours – if you feel the same way, we’ll get along just fine.

Finally – Leaving. I’ll say it point-blank here just so you all know in advanced. You DON’T have to tip me. Nope, not a cent. It kills to mood to even mention money to me while we are together. When you arrive you will be putting your cash in the bathroom, and we won’t be talking about it. If you WANT to tip or leave a gift, you certainly can, but please leave it in the bathroom. I will notice it after you leave and I will be grateful, but I do not want to ruin the mood by being handed cash…Sounds weird doesn’t it? Believe me, my head is elsewhere and yours should be too – by the time we are done I feel that we’ve shared something very deeply passionate and secret about ourselves, to discuss tips at that point takes away from that gravity.

All of that said, I hope this helps guide you as to what my clear expectations are for my visitors. Those that are new to me should feel confident in knowing that as long as you adhere to these common sense guidelines that I will be entirely satisfied with your behavior. If you still have any questions feel free to email me!

 I know that especially if you are new, the rules and flow of the scene may not be quite clear, however now having read my instructions, this eases the pressure from some of you who are just innocently unlcear or what to do, as well as gives a bit of correction to those who just don’t think during the process.

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