I couldn’t help but write a review on this product I’d so deeply longed for. Of course with a healthy dose of skepticism, I saved my excitement and endorsement until it arrived on my front doorstep.
With very little information written about this plug from the various websites that sell it, I was left to speculate on the full extent of its features and overall usefulness as everyone else was. At the original asking price of nearly $400, I found this lack of information to be utterly laughable. Really? You want me to spend $400 on an item that you describe in 2 or 3 short sentences?
At $140 which it’s currently going for on amazon, it’s still a little high, but if you you appreciate the aesthetics it could be worth it. Still, I think for what it actually does, it should be somewhere more in the ballpark of $80-$100 for the average toy collector…let me tell you why.
My first critique about the item itself, was the the device came covered in a thin coating of machine oil in a small plastic bag. No instructions, no wrapping, not even a stitch of tissue paper; just a toy in a bubble wrap bag. For something like this, I’d expect a littler something more, perhaps a small drawstring bag or maybe even a little inexpensive display box, just something that doesn’t scream ‘made in china’.
Fortunately, I don’t need that kind of consumer pampering to be excited about my purchase (or gift in this case), so I took the plug out of the bag and began my exam. The smell of warehouse musk and feel of something a bit ‘sticky’ could be detected immediately. A further inspection reveals it to be machine oil!!! Machine oil….covering an insertable toy. Wow….just wow.
I know we’re all supposed to assume our toys are not sterile (or even surface clean) when they arrive, but this was an odd item to have all over a toy like this. MACHINE OIL doesn’t just come off with a soap and water rinse. It’s meant to lubricate small parts so by its very nature, it coats every crevice of the item and sticks around. Even the tiny screws had some residue in the head of the screw itself! It took several washings and a thorough once over with toothpick to get all that gunk out. I’m concerned some people might get a little careless in their enthusiasm and accidentally forget to deep clean this toy before the initial use.
With it’s brushed metal surface, it wasn’t as easy to clean as something made of polished steel. I find this notable only because drying it immediately after washing it will be essential to avoid rust buildup and with the aforementioned handful of nooks and crannies, you may want to consider using a hair dryer to make sure you get all every crevice.
As for the function itself; by the design and photo we are led to believe the item twists open slowly until you lock it into place in its fully open position. That’s why I was originally drawn to it – the idea of a slow – intentional and perhaps slightly agonizing process of opening it up to it’s flowery shape.
The truth of the matter is that it has only TWO sizes. Closed or fully open. There’s no midpoint at all which causes a very extreme size shift. You will absolutely need to build up to stretching with other toys before inserting this and opening it all the way up.
Once open, you’ll be hard pressed to close it fully before taking it out gently. As each sharp/hard metallic edge on the petals close there’s a lot of opportunity to pinch the delicate internal bits of your play partner, which can be quite painful and obviously dangerous. You need a steady hand and a responsive partner to make sure things go smoothly until you get the hang of it.
Now with the type of toys I tend to have, all of these concerns are normal. I typically do over analyze flaws and err on the side of caution more often than most, so I’m not particularly inconvenienced by any of the items ‘draw backs’.
Despite all of this, it’s still a device I’m excited to own. I love the look of it, the immediate intimidation it produces when you pull it out to show your captive and the potential to be used as a massive plug – which in my experience, can be hard to find. It’s a true ‘torture device’ which is a rare find these days so even with all the fuss and care needed to use the product, I’m still inclined to keep it in my collection.
as i finally get a good look at this device, i think it is based on medievil torture device used in not only the spanish inqusition, but in the middle ages also. no matter how many thinkgs change, the more they stay the same eh?
Wow, it looks like a medieval “choking pear.” Thanks for the review; I would have expected it to have partially open settings. And the potential for pinching is kind of scary…
I had the great pleasure of examining this device in person the other day. I agree with VR’s review – there are some design problems with it as it comes out-of-the-box, but they can be worked around by the skillful user. I was not in the correct mental state at the time I saw it to offer these suggestions, so here there are now that my mind is…clearer:
– I suspect if the length from the t-bar to the beginning of the hinge portion puts the hinge inside the recipient’s interior sphincter that the device will be more workable for most, as that puts the bulk of the stretching “inside”.
– I am concerned with the strength of the spring, you have to use a fair bit of hand strength to press it open, while trying to be fairly gentle about keeping the device in position, so you end up having to simultaneously use fine and gross motor control.
– I think the pinching-when-closing problem can be addressed by gently rotating it as it is closing, so that interior skin bits don’t get a chance to get inside.
– The screwheads with gunk in them – I’m thinking filling those cavities with paraffin wax or somesuch might be a good idea before each use, to reduce abrasions, and contamination of the holes (if you haven’t slapped a condom over the whole device. I’d be curious to hear how condoms survive the opening/closing action, that would help with pinching too…)
– Preventing rust – paraffin wax might help with this as well.
When I have some time to spare, I think I’ll spend a little time in the machine shop and see if I can come up with a far better mechanism – having seen this one in person, several designs suggest themselves to me that would be safer, have a wider range of positions, and be easier to operate.