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The other day, I was having a quiet lunch with a friend; a fellow SW who’s been around in the public view of the industry for MUCH longer than I. Truthfully, I look up to her, she’s awesome, gorgeous, street smart and full of worldly knowledge that anyone would be envious of. I usually look at her as a trail blazer or a beacon of good advice, but really – she’s just the kind of person that exudes good sense and a life well lived.
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During our talk, she said something that really stayed with me as we casually talked about our careers.
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With a heavy tone of lament, she told me about a client she recently had to let go, quipping as if to comfort herself – “I guess every client and every regular has a shelf life.”
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This immediately grabbed me, and not in the sort of way that I typically enjoy being grabbed!
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Instantly, I envisioned some of my favorite people with a ticking clock behind them; never knowing what visit would be their last to my dungeon. It was ominous, but her explanation really shed some light on a vital part of this industry that isn’t often talked about.
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Keeping emotions in check while enjoying a long time intimate connection.
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In no uncertain terms, she told me about some of her favorite boys from the past – frequent fliers to her boudoir – who she had enjoyed many blissful years indulging. Then, for one reason or another – one party lost sight of the boundaries; whether physical, mental or emotional and things unraveled.
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It makes sense! This type of play breeds a special kind of closeness that isn’t often found. It almost demands proximity in all ways – but how hard is that to balance against the pendulum of keeping things ‘professional’?
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Personally, I’ve always taken that very seriously – it takes a LOT of emotional maturity, an absence of jealousy and a total stronghold on one’s self to be a regular visitor of a SW. At any time, feelings can develop or a desire to be more than a client, or even perhaps just a civilian friend – but once that veil is lifted, it can be impossible to put back down.
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While I definitely have crossed that line a few time (or I wouldn’t have any personal slaves) I can’t imagine trying to do that with every visitor I had, or perhaps every visitor who perhaps secretly longed for more than the intimacy we already shared. What I share and what I give is a part of me, but it’s not all of me – and with my clients, it’s the same.
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And that, you see, is where the real struggle lies: the longer and deeper the relationship, the harder it can be to ‘keep things as they are’.
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In truth it comes down to the individuals in play, but it’s worth mentioning, if nothing more than to let my beloved regulars know just how grateful I am that they strike that balance and maintain their poise and tact as the years tick on. While we continue to satisfy each other’s needs, we also continue to respect the privacy of our individual lives beyond what happens in the sanctuary of my dungeon. There’s a lot to be thankful for there!
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For all of my regulars and pets; I want you in my kink life indefinitely, and not only am I touched for the occasional tightropes we walk to make that possible, but I’m thrilled to know because of that mutual adoration and respect; no such ticking clock exists.
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I suppose all things considered, when you appreciate someone enough – there’s no pressure to change something that already beautifully exists.
