Every 6 months or so, I autopublish a version of this blog as my search continues. You see, as much as I am a Professional Dominatrix, I am also a 24/7 Lifestyle Mistress. In my off time, my heart tends to lean towards the satisfaction found in true, genuine, service and devotion. I don’t think I’d be nearly as fulfilled as a Woman if I didn’t have such a thriving stable of collared and very well cherished slaves in my orbit…it’s really just something I’ve always *needed*..
This time of year always makes me think about those varied proximities a bit more. Perhaps it’s all the impromptu family visits or the time taken to reflect on things we’re thankful for, or maybe its the influx of curious clients and certain long term regulars that begin desiring something a little ‘more’, but I see the world around me as being filled with much more ‘possibility’.
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After much thought, I’ve decided that I have the room in both my stable and heart for another full time personal slave. I have several full time devotees and one in training, but with lives outside of me, I often find myself well aware of the fact that my days simply have a little room for diversity.
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You would think a woman like me would find satisfaction simply in my profession alone, but there’s so much to be said for the depth of connection in an ongoing BDSM dynamic.
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Real life D/s relationships on the surface often look like, and typically need to function as; real relationships.
There has to be compatibility: both emotionally and in the dungeon, and there has to be room in your existence for it, but the pure emotional and physical release that comes from all of those things falling into alignment is positively blissful.
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Of course, in publicly noting my intentions, it’s vital that I also make sure a healthy does of reality is served along side so that I’m not bombarded by suitors looking for versions of slavery that is different from what *I* personally am seeking.
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My desire is never to build up possibility and dash anyone’s hopes to fulfill a life long fantasy, so I’ll start by painting a picture of the conditions my other slaves operate under, as I suspect any new member of my clan will fall under similar situations.
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The very basics…
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They don’t live with me: I know that’s the fantasy – a 24/7 life lived with your Dominatrix, always clad in leather and always holding a riding crop, but I’m a realist – I need space and my home is my own. I also believe my slaves need their space too. While it might sound sexy, no one would hold up to having a demanding Femme Domme breathing down their neck 24/7 and I certainly don’t intend on wearing a corset all hours of the day.
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They are all employed and all contribute to their Mistress – I say this specifically to draw a line between personal slavery and by the hour visits and dissolve the notion that being a personal slave is a free pass to fulfill your fantasies without contributing back in some way.
I don’t support my slaves financially, but rather, they offer a reliable monthly tribute to help sustain, support and contribute to my ability to practice my craft and offer them a special amount of my time outside of bookings. The time they spend with me depends more on their personal schedules then how much their tributes run with only a small correlation, but how their time is ultimately spent with me, is also decided by me.
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Not all time I spend with my slaves involves BDSM – In fairness it’s a 50/50 mix. I like enjoying the full width and breath of life with my supplicants. Sure, I’m going to need plenty of time with them in the dungeon, but I also like going out to dinner, running menial errands, going shopping, going on vacation, catching a movie, a coffee or simply making dinner with them at home. I need a rich dynamic that includes both the sugar and spice of daily living. A mental and physical relationship is just as necessary to me as compatibility in the dungeon.
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They all have lives and hobbies outside of me – I’ve never believed that when someone is a slave, their every thought should be on service and submission. Honestly, I’d find that sort of dependency a bit suffocating. One of my slaves races cars and has a boat, another writes apps and works out vigorously, another cycles and enjoys studying medicine and music and the last is has a thriving career and loves to travel. Half are married and the other half not – there’s a variety and texture to their lives that keep them balanced  and I require that sort of personal complexity in any suitor who wants to find themselves in my company. I need things to talk about with you – hobbies to enjoy with you – a life outside of me.
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They are all incredibly kind, versatile, thoughtful, generous and not the slightest bit jealous of each other – I’m a nurturer at heart, not prone to drama or conflict. I like slaves of a similar frame of mind, those who don’t feel strained to put someone else above themselves, and to not have constant expectations or demands of what their lives should be like. As individuals, I recognize they all have their own unique wants and needs, and as a Top – I strive to strike a balance so everyone is as happy, content and fulfilled as possible. That said, I couldn’t bring anyone into my fold that would disrupt that balance.
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It can be a hard thought for some, that I demand monogamy as a Mistress (as in you can have other sexual relationships or be married, but no other Mistress) while I am free to have as many partners of any form as I’d like, but there are many of you out there who would agree a Mistress is free to do as she wishes and wouldn’t think any other way.
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Now, if all of that speaks to you on a deeper level, beyond a passing fantasy or something you might grow out of once the novelty wears off – I’d encourage you to make that known to me. I am looking for life partners here and I know this will take time and patience. Talking about it doesn’t change our dynamic at all, it simply opens a door of possibility.
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Logistics being what they are, I tend to choose individuals that I’m already seeing on a professional basis, that’s not exclusive to people I’ve already met, but I wouldn’t encourage anyone to seek me out professionally ONLY because they are hoping that will come to be something *more* in the future.
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I can’t force, promise or lead anyone on that a relationship is definitely going to happen, it simply has to be genuine and thoroughly organic.
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With those thoughts lingering in the universe, and my very wide net now cast, I start my day with a cheerful optimism that before long, some deeper connections may start to form and my loving kinky family one member stronger.
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And of course, if you are drawn to this post but have a question or two, by all means – let’s talk. Perhaps an intimate conversation held in the appropriate atmosphere of my dungeon is needed to help you explore what’s on your mind.