Blog Post: The Rude And Crude


I’m interrupting my stream of sexy blog posts just to interject a little calm amidst a bizarre storm…..

Normally, I’m not one to get all flustered by the words of others, but I’ve come across a disappointing phenomenon in the Twitterverse that not only seems common place, but remains totally unchecked, casting a pretty dark idea of the perception of Tops with their bottoms. So much so, that I’ve been asked a few times if “all Pro Dommes” share the same negative mentality.

If you’re like me, you probably follow a lot of kinky people and porn stars; some lifestyle Tops, some Pros, FinDommes and Fetishists. Twitter is rife with content from some of our favorite sexy superstars, but sometimes, you’ll see one particular group continuously raining down the insults in reference to their audience – and not necessarily in a sexy way.

Now, I know that humiliation is a very popular fetish and one that I’ve personally explored with willing partners, but when I see it coming in blanket form from public personalities who represent the BDSM lifestyle and culture in general; I honestly can’t help but feel a bit disappointed – and defensive.

When branded as a humilatrix or something that offers a heads up, I smile and realize the audience that follows is lapping up the sweetly pointed degradation with a smile on their blushing faces, but otherwise, it comes off as crude, harsh and sexist.

While I’m pretty open with my opinions, I would never aim to tell someone how to run their business or how to present themselves, hence why I’m not going to cite specific examples.

Diversity in offerings and personality is what make the selection of internet Dominatrices so enticing; but if you’re new to the scene – and have gotten the impression that people in a Dominant position look down on, or otherwise feel their bottoms are somehow unworthy or ‘less than’, let me assure you that in a very broad spectrum – that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Following a number of people myself, I often see terms like ‘pathetic’ or ‘loser’ reflexively thrown about in reference to their spectators. Honestly, that sort of cruel bratiness when not coming from a humiliation specialist, is often the mark of an inexperienced individual or someone who feels rudeness and Dominance somehow go hand in hand. Obviously, it doesn’t and that’s not an accurate representation of those who hold themselves to a higher standard.

Any Professional Mistress (or Master), needs clients to have a thriving career, it’s symbiotic. In that instance, no visitor is ‘worthless’ (another popular and vile term I’m sick of hearing) without clients, how exactly do those individuals expect to have a profession, or a soapbox in which to broadcast?

All personalities that want to have a slice of fame, need followers to support them. And all lifestylers that want someone on the other end of their whip, will need partners who are confident to place their trust in them to explore the universe of deviant indulgences. You just can’t have one without the other.

As I said in an earlier tweet, if you’ve encountered some of that negativity online and it’s left a bitter taste in your mouth or put you off of exploring kink – just know, those individuals do not represent the majority. I, and every other reputable Top I’m aware of, share the sentiment that it’s vital to love, cherish and adore your submissive partners and admirers. Domination doesn’t come from a place of indifference, anger or blatant disregard.

Of course, there’s a time and a place for objectification and brutality, but at the heart of it, those in a position of power should (and most often do) realize that your attention and submission is a gift; not to be taken for granted.

There is no popularity or success of ‘us’ without ‘you’.

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One Thought to “Blog Post: The Rude And Crude”

  1. Danny Gratrix

    And your devoted Uncle Danny feels he is cherished when “playing” and respected when not. Thank you Niece Vicki.

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